err ....

ok yes... its a mistake.

I know its a mistake but there are certain things in life u knw its a mistake but u dont really knw its a mistake bcoz the only way to really knw its a mistake is to make the mistake and then look back and say "yeah, that was a mistake"

So really, the biggger mistake wud be to not make the mistake bcoz then u go ur whole life not knowing whether its a mistake or not ..

and damad !! I have made no mistakes. I have done all of this ... my life, my career, my family and my friends mistake-free.

There r certain mistakes i had to make...

Now here I am ... when I didnt make mistakes and wen I did.

I believe thats how it was supposed to be... and yeah, watever it is, it sucks.

Tale of two "Topi"es

It so happens that we tend to develop likings towards persons with whom we have something in common. This 'something' seems to have the widest possible range u can imagine. And there's nuthing wrong in it till u can justify ur choice, at least to urself. As the well-known proverb (birds of a feather ....) reinforces the above given fact, I wud put stress on the word "liking", especially when it involves person belonging to the same sex.

What wud be ur reaction, if I say:

1) I like this person coz he wears a "Topi" (and that is the hindi-equivalent of a CAP) everytime just as I do ...
2) He can sing as awfully as I can ....

Weird !! isnt it ??
These happen to be precisely the reasons why VG yelled (yeah yeah, he can do so !!) at RPS when he shouted at the top of his voice (past midnite) "I Love Himesh..."

Well, its said that when u r drunk, ur innermost feelings come out unhindered and u find urself spurting out whatever lies in the graveyards of ur heart. And if that is the case, then .... :D

I feel proud for at least playing Himesh-songs for my lost-friend...

RPS Quotes on the legendary Himesh (which unfortunately myself n Mahesh had to bear):

U can love him, u can hate him, but u cant ignore him
Main fan ho gaya hun uska yaar ....
Wo saare rickshaw wala and thele walon ka hero hai
He has got hit-songs continuously for the past 2 years
Uske gaanon me alag jadoo hai
and of course "I love Himesh" ... ;)

The "BIG" predicament ....

The idea of uniquesness has always fascinated me. Something which gets noticed about me, which makes me feel different from the crowd. A very trivial but essential support to this cause has been my name: Vishal. The 2 reasons coming to my mind right away are:

1) Not a common name among the bengalis, I used to find myself as the only guy called by that sound.
2) The letter "V" gets the credit for positioning me as the last guy in the class, at least alphabetically. Being last in a way was easier than being .... u knw wat

I used to cherish this feeling for a long long time, till I came to VGSoM. The first day at the B-School, and I get to know that there are 3 more Vishal's out here (fortunately, one of whom didn't join). And hence, my grey cells started ticking. I need that feeling, the differtiating factor desperately (I was so used to it). Well, I didn't disappoint myself when I came up with the brilliant idea of marketing myself with my initials, VG, which coincidentally matched with the those of the prestigious B-school.

I must appreciate my branding skills (yeah, yeah, I m bragging) in this matter [at least] and henceforth the dilemma of calling a Vishal in VGSoM 2008 was solved as Vishal (Vishal Mittal), Khashu (Vishal Khashu) and VG (Vishal Gupta) came into being. What I hadn't dreamt in my wildest dreams was that I may have to do this exercise again so early....

And this time in the third semester of the course when it so happened that VG and Khashu had to be room partners in Gurgaon, though working for different firms (summers u knw). The Landlady devised her own methods for differentiating us (one of those which made me laugh for no less than 30 mins, though Khashu wasn't heppy at all).

It all goes when Khashu decided to call the Landlady on a 'dreadful' evening that he won't be having his dinner when the respected mademoiselle confirms "tum chote wale Vishal bol rahe ho naa? "

and there's the irony of life: Chote wale Vishal.
or shall I call it an Oxymoron ... !!

what I yearn for ....

I want to speak
I want to scream
I want to be heard
I want to be understood
I want to be listened
I want to be valued
I want to be cherished
I want to be respected
I want to be trusted
I want to be praised
I want to be encouraged
I want to be believed
I want to feel safe
I want to be supported
I want to be comforted

Why?? Is this asking for too much!!

I want to CRY
And I want to cry now ....

Can we ........no, we wont allow you !!!

Can we be friends ???? please .......

NO .... U CAN'T. We wont allow this stupid thing to exist anywhere. And specially when it revolves around different sexes ... there's no question about it !!

Phase 1: Well, in my childhood I heard a saying "A boy and a girl can never be friends". I believed it then and thus thought that all the girls whom I interact to are my girl-friends. What a silly chap I was !!

Phase 2: As time passed by and I matured, I realised the myth. Boys and girls can surely be friends, who can "and" how would people stop them..... what bullshit !!

Phase 3: I solved the mystery. It feels so good when U untangle the truths of humanity. World doesn't approve friends to be friends, given the opposite sex constraints. They make U so concious of your "intimate" friendship and leave U to ponder with the choices:

i) Embrace the person in a loving relationship.
ii) Desert the friendship.

Can I have some more choices please ......

And yet again, the same sentence keeps on reverberating " NO, U CAN'T. We wont allow you"